Tuesday, 30 August 2011

Naps, Baps and Craps

Dear Me Then,

Remember when naps were something you did on holiday before going out to get really wasted on sangria? 

Or later on when naps were an essential part of pregnancy, slotted in after work on that cushy sofa? 

Ah, how that word can change.  Depending on what is going on in your little one’s life, that three letter word can conjure up feelings of complete dread and horror, or ultimate bliss.  

In the start when they are tiny, babies seem to sleep all the time. It’s amazing, how can they be asleep so much and yet so demanding? Then as they get bigger and it’s required of you to build some kind of “routine” (that’s another word I now despise) it becomes a battle of “yes you will sleep”, “waa I don’t wanna”, “but I need to make dinner”, “but I’m a baby, waa” and so on. 
So there’s this hectic period of ooh a year or so? when you’re never sure when they are going to sleep, when they will be awake, when they will be tired and when they will be hyper. So if you want to stay sane, CHILL THE FUCK OUT.  It’s hard but try to chill. It’s a challenge when you’re trying to be organised, but the fact is, the world revolves around that little bugger, and if you forgo a peaceful nap at home for that all essential trip to Sainsburys, man will you pay.

You might be all confused when the books all tell you that you will recognise the “signs of tiredness” in your baby. I just about recognise them now, but seriously, when you are sleep-deprived and nutrient-deprived and all kinds of hormonal, you might miss a few things. Plus, some babies (mentioning no names) are really weird and decide that even though they are exhausted they are still going to lap their cot 5 times, hit Gloworm in the face a bit, then sing to him, then throw their dummy out of the cot, demand it back LOUDLY, then sing a little bit more before dropping off in a “downward dog” pose. How is that looking tired?

A routine never stays that. Just as you get into the swing of something they always throw you a curveball. Those few days/weeks when your routine is predictable though, are PRAISE THE LORD AMAZING. When you know exactly how long she’s going to be asleep, and exactly what you can achieve in that time, oh the joy! Chances are you’ll have a list as long as your arm of things to do during that nap, but please, please, the first thing you must always do is have a cup of tea. Oh yeah, tea. Bring that right on. You might want to ease off the cakes now your kid is nearing one and you still look pregnant though. Just a thought.

OK, that was naps. Baps and Craps next week.

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