Dear Nic,

I'm so proud of you.
It has taken a while but now I'm older and a tiny bit wiser, I can say that if you were a friend of mine I would give you the biggest hug and let you know that you have done amazingly.
You were up against it when that little 'un was born, you got so ill and feared for your life, and doctors you should have been able to trust totally screwed you over. You were a perfect mother to your newborn despite the chaos in your own body. Friends couldn't understand, and they left. You were so sad, and so lonely, but you never let your baby see it, and she is the happiest thing anyone has ever met. You pushed yourself to try new things, meet new people, and make your life happy again. You realised that you have to be kind to yourself.
Never worry about treating yourself and doing things you love.

You are happy! And I am so proud of you. x

Now we are One

Soooooo predictable.  You didn’t really think I’d be able to keep a blog up as well as a baby, a job and the run up to Christmas did you? Yes, yes, I failed.  But I’m getting used to that, and it ain’t gonna stop me.

The end of 2011 saw me trying hard to keep up with life, I started customising T-shirts and babygros like crazy, in any time I wasn’t at work and the Duck was reading her endless books, but for all the toil I got tonsillitis and couldn’t do my Christmas craft stalls! Booooo…. 

So now I HAVE to set up a proper website in order to sell the piles of clothes I have in the garage which are driving my husband INSANE. He loves his garage, and believes it should only contain useful, manly things like a lawnmower which never sees the light of day, or gardening tools which we have NO DESIRE WHATSOEVER to EVER EVER use. Seriously, we are terrible at that grown-up green-fingered thing.  The garden constantly looks like an abandoned bomb shelter, and any flowers or plants die within minutes.  They do, I swear they see the abyss they have entered and just give up.

Anyway, I have plans for 2012, so watch out.  A new website to hopefully actually sell some stuff,  some kind of fun exercise, more socialising now the Duck is waddling, more cooking from proper ingredients, and generally having an awesome year. Oh and lots of weddings coming up too! WOOP!

Now, back to the Duck.  She is one! She walks! She talks! (kinda)

What an amazing year that was, that little bundle has grown into a funny, happy and NUTS little toddler.  We are so proud of her, and I must tell you this Dear younger Nic, the hard work is so worth it.  There is no doubt in my mind that the first year is the hardest thing you'll ever do in your life, but it is all over so quickly and before you know it you’re crying into those tiny babygros which you kind of want to donate to your pregnant friends and kind of want to keep under your pillow to sniff forever…

Judging by how much fun this little family has had lately, my husband and I are MUCH more toddler people.  Same wavelength perhaps.  And now she has her own little interests which we try to encourage, and she learns so quickly that we just can’t keep up.  There is so much we want her to see and know.

That all sounds quite positive right?  Ahh what I’m not telling you is that the Duck has learnt to tip milk all over our already skank carpet at every opportunity, post various things into various places (don’t even start me) and react to the word “No” with what I can only describe as her mother’s inexplicable resentment of authority.   

It does raise a smirk when she shakes her head noooooo and carries on hitting the cat, only harder, though.