Wednesday, 17 October 2012

Calling in Sick

You know when you have to call in sick and give an "official reason" even though your line manager knows you're ill and this is the third day in a row you've had to drag your sorry ass to the phone at early o'clock purely to say yes I'm still ill?
Well, it's stupid. And I resent it. So when I ring in tomorrow morning I'm thinking of giving the following reasons for my absence...

"I'm sorry I can't come in today because...

1. My dog ate my homework.
2. I have to go and buy a cabbage.
3. I'm worried I might shoot everybody.
4. I hate you guys.
5. Someone tied my shoelaces together.
6. I've got the farts.
7. The eggs are hatching!!
8. I won the lottery.
9. There's a gremlin in the staff room.
10. I forgot how to get there.
11. I'm dead.
12. My great aunt Fred has a hernia.
13. I'm going to a piano lesson.
14. A tree fell on me and I can't get it off.
15. I'm scared of ceilings.
16. I found a fly in my cornflakes.
17. My mate rang and said I REALLY need to go to the pub.
18. My cat fell over.
19. My fish has hiccups.
20. It's just not my bag (baby=optional)

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