I'm so proud of you.
It has taken a while but now I'm older and a tiny bit wiser, I can say that if you were a friend of mine I would give you the biggest hug and let you know that you have done amazingly.
You were up against it when that little 'un was born, you got so ill and feared for your life, and doctors you should have been able to trust totally screwed you over. You were a perfect mother to your newborn despite the chaos in your own body. Friends couldn't understand, and they left. You were so sad, and so lonely, but you never let your baby see it, and she is the happiest thing anyone has ever met. You pushed yourself to try new things, meet new people, and make your life happy again. You realised that you have to be kind to yourself.
Never worry about treating yourself and doing things you love.
You are happy! And I am so proud of you. x